Sunday, 22 April 2012


Out of the blue he invites me out for a drink.

Weird. We don't go for drinks. I get instructions, I turn up, we play, that's it.

I am not asking questions though. I scan the texts for hidden clues. Nothing. I decide to go with it. With The Teacher things always become abundantly clear once we meet. I trust him.

I arrive, dressed up. Not as a character, just me but glammed up with beautiful lingerie, a dress that subtly reveals more than it conceals. Effort has to be made.

I am anxiously checking my make up in the lift, realising that the lack of scenario makes me five times as nervous as usual.

He opens the door, wearing a pair of jeans and a beautifully cut summer seersucker jacket. He looks... normal. WTF?

He kisses me on the lips, informally.

I half expect to be on my knees any second.

It doesn't happen.

I walk into the living room, giving it a swift once over. No toys in sight.

"What would you like to drink?", he asks casually. 

"What are you having?", I am still scanning the room, and this buys me time.

"Vodka tonic"

"I'll have the same", I say trying to look effortless and natural as I cross the room randomly to look behind the sofa. Nothing. Not even a sneaky tail of a bondage rope.

Then I look at the telly. Hello! There is a woman on it. Middle aged, with terrible make up, sitting at a table in a dodgy looking kitchen, her tits spilling out of a low cut top.

"Fuck", I think. "This is some terrible housewife porn he will make me watch and fuck me to it. Oh what the hell..."

"There you go", he's behind me. I startle, take the glass and down half of it in a massive nervous gulp. 

"So, did you have a good week?"

"How can he be having this conversation right now?! This is too twisted.", I think and my eyes dart to that wretched telly screen again, fully expecting to see something vaguely unspeakable.

And then it hits me. BBC3 logo. I realise that I am not looking at some dirty cuckold porn. It's fucking Gavin and Stacey and the woman on the screen is Nessa. Now talking to Stacey's dad.

So yes, we are having a drink. Just a drink. And let me tell you. This is weirder than anything we have ever done before.

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