Saturday, 5 May 2012

Playing young

I like playing young. Nothing ever freaked out my debauched mates as my admission that every now and again madame enjoyed a bit of Daddy play. Well, stone the fucking crows.

It came so natural to me that I was unaware that this sort of thing may really spook some people. Yet, on a pragmatic level, I am a consenting adult, indulging in a bit of fantasy play. Freud once said that the father will always be a blueprint for all male relationships a woman will have, conversely, so will the mother in man's life. 

My father, a brilliant man, an intellectual, a real force of nature and ultimately flawed character, was always an immense influence in my life. He brought me up to be a mouthy, confident and utterly convinced of my brilliance, with a heartfelt conviction that I can do whatever I want to do and that a strong sense of self will get me places. In the great scheme of things, where your parents knock you and try to mould you into improved avatars of themselves, it was not bad going. Granted, he was a massive arsehole at times and treated my mother badly. But that was their relationship. I am my own person.

That said, my childhood was happy and the part of me that likes playing young, in a persverse way, wants to connect to that time, with the added layer of sexual satisfaction.

An important lover of mine unlocked it in me, instantly. After he dominated me the first time he tested me. 

"What would you like to call me?", he whispered, his breath hot and burning my cheek.

'NFI', my first response. Not fucking idea. The whole fetish universe may as well have been a Martian invasion. Totally unfamiliar.


"Ewww", I thought. 'I am  not in a fucking circus.'


Silence from me that spoke volumes.

"Say it"

As the word fell from my lips, the world lit up.

As he fucked me, heavy and relentless, I was calling him Daddy and loved every minute. And for the record, not once I thought about my actual Dad. I was just lost in sensation of being young, curious, sexually just on the cusp and experiencing something quite extraordinary.

As I said, nowt wrong with playing young. 

1 comment:

  1. Nice to know some bits of your real life. Good article.